You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
