its not stalking. its research.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm too high and old for this...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
