Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
