I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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