Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
