Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
