i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize