sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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