My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize