Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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