end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
