why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
