Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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