I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you never un-have a 4some
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
