who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
