Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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