no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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