dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
dude. I can hear the air.
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