He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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