the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
