Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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