Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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