Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
