so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
