Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
