Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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