Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
