I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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