maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
