i permit you to call me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
