Is it normal to miss your booty call?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
