its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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