Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
