did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
