So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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