She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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