Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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