She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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