p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
