I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
