that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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