Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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