he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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