Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
