direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
