I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
