Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
