So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
