nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
