he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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