I'm really into asian looking animals
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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