Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
