And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
