Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
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