At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
