sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
