I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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