He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
