Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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