Ambien. No doubt about it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
