I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
