I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
